National Lampoons Pucked (2005) - Synopsis
Frank Hopper shows off his newest invention, the Boomerazoo, to some executives of the prestigious “Melvin Kids-Are-Our-Pals Toy Company”. The Boomerazoo proves to be disastrous invention, Frank sets the “internal gyroscope” throws the Boomerazoo and puts the glove up to catch it – when it crashes into the President of the toy company, Ms. Melvin.
Frank lives with his sister, Leona and his seven year old nephew, Nick in Greensboro, Guilford County, North Carolina. Leona doesn’t understand why Frank, who had such potential as a lawyer – threw it all away. Leona disapproves of Frank’s dreamer mentality – going through a bunch of Frank’s “get rich quick schemes” that always seem to end him up in trouble. In exchange for free room and board, Frank watches after Nick before and after school, while Leona is at work.
Carl Buckinowski is Frank’s best friend and his biggest (as in “only”) supporter even though he is usually dubious about Frank’s ventures. Carl runs a lawnmower repair shop. Closing his shop early, Carl listens to Frank and tries to show him some support, while they guys go shopping for a birthday present for Frank’s mom.
While at the checkout paying for a “posterior warmer”, the cashier asks Frank if he will fill out a survey. Frank agrees, on the line marked income, Frank writes in a zero…followed by a few more zeros…then he decides to put a “1” before all the zeros…making it look like he earns $1 million per year.
Dressed into a tuxedo, Frank is at a big black tie affair, the “Annual Celebration of Lawyers for Fair Play”, when he is handed a tray of appetizers…he is a waiter. As he moves around the party with a tray of crab cakes, he turns and comes face to face with his ex-girlfriend Jessica. The awkwardness between them is evident, especially when Jessica’s new boyfriend, Assistant District Attorney Norman Brown comes to her side. Trying to play it off that he is a guest and not the help, Frank starts to devour the crab cakes and disregarding the person behind him asking to try the appetizer.
Frank turns around to see a three and one-half foot gentleman, Mr. Vincent, as Frank leans down, so does the tray of crab cakes – dropping them down the front of the gentleman. Immediately Frank grabs a napkin, which is filthy, smearing more food on Mr. Vincent, who then swings wildly punching Frank squarely in the crotch. Once Mr. Vincent gets his hands wrapped around Frank’s neck, Frank tries to shake him off and ends up lifting him off the grounds and spinning him around until Mr. Vincent lands in the punch bowl on the center of the table.
After Mr. Vincent is helped out of the punch bowl by Norman, Mr. Vincent stumbles to the floor, on his way down knocking over some swan ice sculptures. Jessica goes to help Mr. Vincent when she slips on the ice, managing to grab the punch bowl ladle, as she slides she knocks down to other guests and hits a crab cake across the room – almost taking Frank’s head off – giving Frank the idea of the “World Wide Women’s Hockey League”.
The next day, Frank tells Carl of his newest dream, while they wait for Nick’s bus to come pick them up; they eat hotdogs and drink Cheerwine. As Nick’s bus pulls up, Carl and Frank get on the bus and Frank elaborates on the “World Wide Women’s Hockey League” and Carl questions on how Frank is going to be able to afford his newest venture.
A few days later, Frank gets the mail, filtering through the junk; he finds a “Pre-Approved” credit card. Frank immediately heads to Carl’s repair shop to show him his new found “riches”. Carl is astonished that Frank got a pre-approved credit card, when he doesn’t have a bank account or more importantly a job.
Feeling on top of the world, Frank tries to get investors to see how great his “new vision”. Instead his potential investors are humored by the idea of the “World Wide Women’s Hockey League” and leave the meeting laughing.
Frank begins to receive more pre-approved credit cards in the mail.
Frank tells Carl that he secured investors, as they walk to an ice rink, the new home of the “WWWHL”. The ice rink is trashed. There are dilapidated bleachers, an old electronic scoreboard, a Zamboni up on blocks, old rental ice skates, hockey sticks, chairs, many old yellowed newspapers and other debris strewn about with mats and rugs covering the ice in areas. As the guys are surveying the ice rink, they hear a voice coming from the debris; it is a homeless person, Elvis, lying in one of the hockey nets that is now a hammock. Elvis lives at the rink.
While Frank goes on and moves forward with the start of the WWWHL, little does he know, the credit card company starts monitoring his spending.
After getting his new rental car, Frank pulls into the driveway as Jessica is leaving Leona’s. Frank tells Jessica briefly about the WWWHL, inviting her and Norman, when she informs him, that she is now single again.
Frank heads into the locker room to talk to Carl, who is repairing the lights. Frank informs Carl that he secured the coliseum for the first game on opening night.
Tryouts begin and end for the WWWHL, just as Elvis is in a headlock by a “big guy” wearing a hat covering up most of his face. The “big guy” takes off his hat, revealing that he is actually a she…Wendy Delvecchio. The arrival of Wendy forces a face-off. Tiny, Carl’s girlfriend faces off against Wendy and ends up leaving the tryouts on an ambulance.
Leona and Jessica show up at the rink to check out Frank’s new venture. Frank gives Jessica a tour of the ice rink. As Leona and Jessica get ready to leave, Frank asks Jessica to dinner, which she accepts under the conditions of, “no funny stuff”. Somehow, Frank and Jessica end up in her bedroom.
While Frank continues to move forward with the WWWHL, little does he know, the credit card company continues to monitoring his spending.
One night after practice, Wendy waits for her boyfriend Skip to arrive for their date, when Valerie (one of the other players from Wendy’s team the Almighty Swans) tells her Skip’s van is out front. Wendy goes outside and finds the van rocking. As many girlfriends react, Wendy confronts Skip before knocking him out.
Carl comes across Frank’s investors – emptying a bag holding approximately 200 credit cards. Concerned with Frank’s spending and the debt accrued.
Simultaneously, Alan at the credit card company takes his findings to some of the credit card executives, Mr. Jeffrey, Mr. Rock, the chief (as he is known through most of this sequence) until he is shown as Mr. Vincent (the three and one-half foot gentleman who Frank threw in the punch bowl at the “Annual Celebration of Lawyers for Fair Play”). Having his own personal vendetta, Mr. Vincent seeks revenge.
After the next practice, Frank approaches the sullen Wendy, who tells him, she is thinking about quitting the WWWHL. Frank and Wendy continue to their talk into the locker room where many of the girls are scantily clad and Frank promises Wendy a date…
Frank goes into his office and convinces Carl to take Wendy out. Giving Carl the bag of his credit cards, Frank tells him to go to the bank, get some cash out for his date with Wendy. While at the ATM, Carl goes through almost all of the cards, when he gets attacked by a street hood with a gun.
Carl returns to the ice rink. In Frank’s office, Carl explains to him what happened at the ATM. Frank pulls a different credit card out of his pocket for Carl to use on his date with Wendy.
Carl goes to Wendy’s apartment to pick her up for their date. Wendy comes to the door, Carl is obviously very timid, seeing as he is about one foot shorter than her, and gives her a plant from the local grocery store. They go to an “all you can eat” rib joint, where Wendy eats more than the cost of the ribs. When Carl walks Wendy to her door, things get rather entertaining.
The next morning at the ice rink, Frank watches as Nick and a bunch of his friends skate and have fun. Carl walks up to Frank with a puck hanging around his neck. They talk about Carl’s date with Wendy.
Opening night, the coliseum fills up as Carl and Frank observe the turnout. Before the first face-off Elvis walks to the center of the ice introducing the two teams, making their debut, the Almighty Swans and the Fearsome Foxes. When both teams come on the ice, they are dressed in midriffs and short shorts. The crowd reacts to the unusual uniforms –astonished and confused. Once in their proper uniforms, the game begins.
As the game continues several police cars and an unmarked a car pull up. Inside the coliseum, one of the Almighty Swans, Salina gets checked hard into the boards. Wendy immediately rushes to the aid of her teammate as a stick from one of the Fearsome Foxes slams into Wendy’s back. Immune to the attack, Wendy whirls around, throws her gloves to the ice and lifts the Fox up against the glass. The crowd roars as both teams brawl around Wendy and the Fox.
As the ice gets more cluttered with sticks, gloves, helmets, and equipment, Frank hands the microphone to Elvis telling him to get on the ice. Elvis gets on the ice, slipping and sliding before regaining his composure, suddenly breaking out in song, “The Star Spangled Banner”.
The teams react to Elvis’ song. As he walks off the ice, the both teams gather their stuff scattered all over the ice, just as several Guilford County Sheriff’s Department officers appear with Detective Ferretti next to the box where Frank, Nick, Leona, and Jessica are watching the game from with a warrant for Frank’s arrest.
The game is immediately stopped. Leona bails Frank out of jail, upset, angry, and disappointed.
The next day, Leona goes to Jessica’s law office and pleads with her to represent Frank. Also upset, angry, and disappointed, Jessica doesn’t want to take the case, but Leona convinces her to represent Frank.
At home, Leona tells Frank that Jessica agreed to represent him, he refuses – before conceding. Jessica and Frank meet for a pre-trial meeting where she tells him that her ex-boyfriend, Norman, will be prosecuting. Jessica and Frank butt heads about the best way to defend him.
The trial begins. The courtroom is full of WWWHL players. Throughout the trial, several outbursts occur from the gallery of people watching the trial.
Norman and Jessica make opening statements. Norman calls Frank to the stand, where Norman tries to demonstrate Frank’s lack of success.
After the first day of court, Frank decides that he would be better off representing himself, instead of Jessica. The next morning, Jessica steps down as Frank’s counsel – Frank is going to represent himself. He asks the judge for a few days to plan his defense. The judge grants his request.
Frank, Carl, and Elvis are in Frank’s room as he is staring at a computer screen. Online, Frank finds some information that is useful to his case. In an effort to help Frank, Carl and Elvis question some individuals.
Back in court, Frank is prepared and calls his best friend Carl to the stand. Carl vouches for Frank, explaining Frank’s ups and downs, how he got his “investors”, and his honesty, loyalty, and integrity.
Over the next couple days of the trial, Frank calls a few off-the-wall witnesses to the stand that significantly help the defense – Norman struggles to cross examine. One night during the trial, Jessica shows up at Leona’s complimenting Frank on his defense. The next day in court, Norman and Frank give their closing arguments.
The following day, Frank and Carl are in Frank’s office discussing the outcome of the case.